Funny shit I would do with the ability to morph into anyone or anything.

I would morph into a hot dog, and when someone picked me up to eat me, I'd start cussing them the fuck out. I'd be like,

"Ay! What the fuck do you think you're doing? I oughta get out of this bun and beat you're fuckin' ass all over the trailer park!"

I would be in the middle of having sex with Meghan, then I'd morph into a big, 800-pound, sweaty fuckin' retard! Right in the middle of it!!! I'd be all cross-eyed and drooling and shit! Or I could morph into like, a St. Bernard or a buffalo!

Or I could morph into Rebekah and wait for Jon to get home, and when he does I'll tell him how I've been fucking all of his friends and his dad! That would be funny as shit! Or, I could morph into Jon, go to Rebekah's house and try to have sex with her mom and sister the whole time!!!

I would definitely turn into George W. and have my friends get photos and video of me slapping homeless people, having sex with prostitutes (dirty ones), putting nuns in headlocks, waggling my dick at old people, etc. I'd probably do that with all the political figures I don't like. And don't get me started about what I would do with Dubya's press conferences. I'd walk up to the podium all presidential-style, and I'd go, "My fellow americans... you're all bitches and I had sex with all of your mothers last night. Thank you." Then I'd just walk back in the white house!!! Then I'd change into Rumsfeld, and run outside where all the press would be stunned and shit, and I'd be like, "No, everyone please calm down, the president just isn't feeling like himself today." But I'd be naked.

I'd get on stage at the Gathering, morph into fuckin' Eminem, slap Violent J and take his microphone, and tell all the Juggalos they ain't shit. I'd only do that if I wanted to commit a creative suicide though.