Thoughts...

You know, Jager is a sneaky drink. You drink some of the stuff, you wait a little bit, you don't feel shit from it, you drink more, don't feel shit, drink even more, don't feel shit, drink more, then you're in the backyard trying to fight your old imaginary friend from when you were a kid 'cause the fuck made you drop your ice cream cone that one time.

Jager creeps up on you. I should'a known, damn Germans.

Being Irish myself, I guess I should resent the Notre Dame nickname "The Fighting Irish." After all, how long do you think nicknames like "The Bargaining Jews" or "The Murdering Italians" would last? Only the ironic Irish could be so naively honest. I get the feeling that Notre Dame came real close to naming itself "The Fuckin' Drunken, Thick-skulled, Brawling, Short-dicked Irish."

Jessica is great. I'm glad everything was okay when she made it home last night, I was worried. I'm also wondering why there's 10 bucks missing from my wallet this morning. I know EXACTLY how much money I had when I left work last night, why is my money gone? I really hate to think that somebody could've gotten into my wallet while I was drunk, because the people who could've done it are vehemently against direct thievery, or so they claimed.

Direct thievery - Stealing from friends, family, small mom-and-pop businesses, people's personal property.

Indirect thievery - Stealing from large, faceless corporations, I.E. Wal-mart, Target, your mom.

Anyway...

There are many replies you can make when you hear a statement you agree with. A real old-timer says "You're darn tootin'!"
"I've noticed your granddaughter's nipples stiffen up when I moisten my lips."
"You're darn tootin!"
In my dad's day it was, "You can say that again."
"Hey dad, Mom's ass is starting to sag real bad."
"You can say that again."
When I was a kid we said, "I'm wise."
"Man, your sister gives a good blow job!"
"I'm wise."

Eventually, we grew tired of these expressions. Now there are new ones, and I'm getting tired of them too. Examples:

"I hear ya."
"Wonderful. Are you picking me up visually as well?"

"Tell me about it."
"I just did."

"I heard that!"
"Oh, really? Well, isn't that exciting! What is this, a hearing test? Did I wander into a Beltone commercial? Of course you heard it, ya fuckin' nimrod, I'm standin' right next to ya! I'm gonna wander over here a little farther away. BLOW ME!!!! By any chance did ya hear that???"

"You got that right!"
"What are you, Alex Trebek? Oh. Well... in that case, I'll take bodies of water for $300."