What is a Juggalo? I don't know but...

Last night, Jon said it would be cool to have me write what I think a Juggalo is. Jesus, where do I start?

There's so many different ideas, it's hard to type them in this format. Okay, if my writing starts to go all over the place, bear with me.

First, you don't have to listen to Psychopathic records or know who any of the artists are on there, and you don't even have to like them! Because it's not about them, they came up with the term Juggalo, that's their part in this. However, I believe that the Juggalos are drawn to this music and culture because of their spirits and their way of thinking. We connect to Psychopathic because we relate so well to it.

One seemingly common factor among Juggalos is, we've experienced unbelievable ostracization. (We've all been outcasted. Big word, sorry.) We've all been pushed aside, put on the back burner, been told we don't count, over and over and over again. The reasons vary, it could be we're ugly, fat, too skinny, we think differently, we speak our opinions, we don't follow trends, etc., etc. We're not sheep, and that's a real no-no in today's christian-based society, especially in the U.S. (I'm not sure, but I think European ninjas are a little more accepting of different ideas. Wuttup Eurolos!)

Another trait we share is one that I've never seen in other humans. Here's an example...

I got this friend named Crazy Dave. He kicks ass. Nobody wants to hang out with him though because he's half-retarded. And I'm not saying he acts dumb or something, I mean he's actually retarded. People in general don't want to be around him because of that, they might do like, charity work or something to make themselves feel like they're decent human beings, but other than that, people just don't want to be around retards. The Juggalos aren't like that. If you're fresh, we'll kick it with you all day, whether you're retarded, you smell funny, you're ugly, whatever. As long as you're fresh, as long as you're not stale, we love you.

Hold up, now I gotta try to define what a fresh person is and what a stale person is. I can feel that carpal-tunnel settling in as I type this.

Okay, let's do stale first. A stale person cares about their looks and their money. They care about their reputation in whatever community they're in, and they will sacrifice their individuality to impress complete strangers. A stale person follows the herd, no matter how stupid the herd is, without question. A stale person is afraid to speak up for fear of strangers thinking bad things about them. A stale person not only feels it's okay to be stupid, it's funny! A stale person plans for their life to go exactly a certain way. A stale person has no guts.

Now to fresh. A fresh person is someone who feels free to express his or her own opinion, without fear of being outcasted. They know they will be outcasted, they're just not scared of it. Someone who's fresh thinks for themselves, and doesn't form opinions based on what's popular with everyone else. A fresh person doesn't talk down to people that might be seen as "lesser than them" because no one is lower or higher than each other. A fresh person won't talk in stupid baby talk to a kid, and he or she won't treat the president of the U.S. or a rock star like they're God. They'll talk to these people like they were talking to a friend of their's.

Anyway, my point is, the Juggalos love you if you're fresh! So we hang out with fresh people! We hang out with retards, convicted felons, people that are ugly as fuck, scrubs, 700 pound fat guys, because they're fresh! These people don't give a fuck what others think, and that's the shit! You won't catch us hanging out with people who's only concern is winning a popularity contest.


Okay, let me sum up what I've written so far...

A Juggalo is,

1. An outcast, and

2. Loves fresh people.

Those are the only two traits I've seen in ALL Juggalos. There's a ton of stuff that's common, but doesn't exist in all of them. Common Juggalo traits: violent, (if pushed) crazy, loud-talking, gives no fucks, scrubby, and poor. Remember, these aren't all Juggalos traits, but my guess is probably 50% of Juggalos share them.

One more very important thing. You can't really put your finger on what a Juggalo is, you can't define it. You just... feel it. Other Juggalos can see it clear as day, but you never realize it. I call it the Juggalo shine.

The Juggalo shine is that feeling you get when you meet or even look at somebody who is a Juggalo. It's the feeling that this guy/girl could do anything. When I say anything, I don't mean that "You could do anything if you put your mind to it!" anything, I mean the "If I fuck with this person, who knows what he/she is capable of?" kind of thing. It's normally a negative thing for people, because they don't understand the Juggalo shine, and people fear what they don't understand. The Juggalo shine is all that potential, all that energy, all the power and resiliency that is packed in that persons' soul. It's like the power of a nuclear explosion, pushing at the walls of one's flesh. Yes, that energy COULD be released in a negative manner if pushed to do so, look at Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, the kids who performed the Colombine massacre. They had a bunch of home movies they made of themselves and when I saw them, their shine came through the tv and grabbed me. It grabbed everybody else too, I'm sure. People see that and they fear it, never realizing that it is also a good thing. The Juggalos can handle situations that others would commit suicide in, they can do things that others fear because it might hurt them. A normal person takes a dive in the stock market and loses their ass, they jump out a window. A lover leaves somebody for another person, the person who got hurt drinks Drano. Kurt Cobain had millions of adoring fans, millions of dollars and a phat-ass house but he couldn't take ALL THAT PRESSURE, so he blew himself away! These are situations that roll off of a Juggalo's back, because his/her soul has been tempered by fire, and used to that sort of thing. Look at all the Juggalos on the Backyard Wrestling series! They're not afraid of pain, because they know it's only temporary. People see all that strength inside as clear as day, and it scares them.

I told you I would ramble. Anyway, We're outcasts, we love scrubs, and we have that shine that you just can't quite put a finger on.

Oh yeah, if you can finish what I started writing in the title, you're an honarary Juggalo. Click on the thing below this that says how many comments there are, and leave a comment finishing the title and whatever else you wanna add.

LATER, BITCH!