HOLY NEW UPDATE BATMAN!!!!!!

Yeah, I know; it's been a while. Quit bitchin'.

Man, life is in-fuckin'-sane these days, I love it. I finally got up the guts to break it off with Meghan. That sucked major ass. I know how it is to get your heart broken, I felt bad as shit about it, but it had to be done; I just couldn't deal with getting taken for granted anymore. I mean, she's a good girl, but she just has no experience in relationships at all. I guess she figured she had me locked in, so she didn't need to put anymore work into us. Sorry Meg.

Then I turn around and there's Jessica. Wow. Lemme tell yall, she's a young'un, I know... but damn, she kicks ass. You know what's weird? I didn't even think about her in a relationship way until we went camping. (Well, she's hot and all, I thought about her like that, but I had a gf, she had tony, blah blah blah) But she fuckin' kicks ass. I mean, she finds the same shit funny that I find funny. That's fuckin' rare. Usually if I tell a girl I'm going to pull my dick out, I get weird looks/maced/slapped/head/arrested/all of the above, but she fuckin' loves it! (In more ways than one! WHUT?!?!) It's been so long since I've been without a gf, I don't know what to do. I REALLY hope I'm not rebounding, 'cause Jessica rules. Except she smokes. Dammit. Everybody I know fuckin' SMOKES. That's gross shit. Why in the hell would you want to put a burning fire in your mouth anyway? If you want to suck on something, why don't you move up to dicks? THAT'S WHAT YOU PEOPLE REALLY WANT ANYWAY, JUST GET A HOT PENIS TO SUCK ON! AS AN ADDED BONUS, YOU CAN DO IT IN EVERY NON-SMOKING SECTION ON THE PLANET!!!!!!

This Jessica-tony thing is weird. Man, I looked at Jessica's live journal, and he's saying that he's going to get the Juggalos shot, and her shot. He doesn't KNOW anybody, he's talking out of his ass. It's pathetic. I don't know what it is about the internet, but when pathetic, weak-asses get a keyboard under their small, quivering fingertips, all of a sudden they become bad asses. I make it a point to never say anything on here that I wouldn't say in real-life.

If you're an internet bad ass, chances are you're a real-world pussy. Quote me.

Besides, real bad asses don't let stupid small shit mess with their heads like the weak ones do. I feel bad for tony, but the more I hear about him, the more I read what he says, and the more I'm around him; he's looking pretty weak. He just seems like someone who gets pushed around by life, someone who crys in pain as life bumps him left and right, setting him off-course from the straight line he would like to have be his life.

On the other hand, a fresh person (like, say... me? Or the Juggalos?) loves taking life-bumps. They don't hurt, it's just a new direction to go, new experiences to have, new clitori to play with.

Wait, what am I talking about him for? I shouldn't care. Sorry, it's early in the morning. The events of tonight weigh heavily on my mind and I've got so many ideas I want to express, but I'm probably just rambling. Hold on, let me check... yup, I've been rambling. Okay, I'll put some more thoughts in tomorrow. I might even start to update regularly! (Doubtful.)

LATER FOOLS!!!!!

Big Muthafuckin' Dave BIZZNITCHES!!!!

AND I'M OUT LIKE JESSICA'S CLIT VIRGINITY!

(Yup, I said it. Get me shot punk.)