WUTTUP YALL!!!!!

Today, I got it verified, I have been accepted to trucking school up in Indiana. HELL YEAH!!!! FAT FUCKIN' PAID DAVE WILL BE!!!!!!! DOLLA DOLLA FOOL!!!!!! REKANIZE IT!!!!!

Here's the deal:

School starts Oct. 4th, and I plan on a two-day trip up there, so I gots to leave on the second. I'll drive to Ohio and find a place to stay there, then on the third I'll hop up to Indiana. Wait, fuck that. I'll just do it all on the third, Indianapolis is only about an hour and a half from Fairborn, where my grandma lives. It's a two-and-a-half week course, the last day is the 20th, so I should be home the night of the 21st. Then dude on the phone said it would be like a week before I got picked up for my first job which will be supervised, and at that point I'll be gone for like, 2 to 4 weeks. That's gonna be crazy as shit. I'll be making that cash though. I don't give a fuck right now, I ain't got no girlfriend, I don't have any obligations here, time to hit that road, BITCH NIGGA!!!!! I'M RUNNIN' OVER ALL YALL FOOLS!!!!!! Oh yeah, get this shit, I get a thousand dollar sign-on bonus!!! I get my first 500 bucks when dude comes to pick me up, and I get another 500 when I get dropped off, ON TOP of the money I get for driving!!!! Trucking rules. Everybody should be a trucker.

I've been reading everything I can get my hands on about trucking, I went to the DMV and got a CDL-A study guide for free. (That's what I'll be getting, a CDL-A liscense) I been reading that shit, I gotta be honest, it looks easy as fuck. They got all sorts of things called "Endorsements" and those are little specialized drivers liscense things, they say that you can drive two trailers at once or you've been trained to deal with Hazardous materials. They call that one a Haz-mat liscense. Apparently a lot of truckers don't want this, because they don't want to pull dangerous shit. But, you get paid a lot more to drive Hazmat shit. Fuck, I'll do it! I'll haul the most dangerous shit you can give me if the money's right!!!!

Sheeit, I'll haul gas, dynamite, all that shit. I'll haul a fuckin' NUCLEAR WEAPON. I'll haul the anthrax virus. I'll haul fuckin' lifers from prison. SHIT, IF THE MONEY'S RIGHT, I'LL HAUL TERRORISTS, NUCLEAR WEAPONS, GAS, ANTHRAX VIRUSES, JACK DANIELS, AND A SHITLOAD OF GUNS, ALL IN THE SAME TRAILER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I'LL DRIVE FAST AS SHIT CAUSE I'M FUCKIN' INSANE LIKE THAT! I'LL PRETEND I'M IN THE INDY 500 DOING 120 MILES AN HOUR AROUND A 90 DEGREE TURN!!!!!!

AND I'MA GET PAID LIKE A MUTHAFUKKA FOR THAT SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYBODY'S GONNA BE LIKE, "GODDAMN DAVE, YOU'RE THE MUTHAFUCKIN' SHIT!!!" AND I'MA BE LIKE, "YEAH, THAT ONE MUTHAFUCKA TRIED TO DRINK THE JACK I HAD BACK THERE, SO I HAD TO SHOVE A NUKE UP HIS ASS JUST TO SHOW HIM WHO THE MUTHAFUCKIN' MAN WAS!!! GET OFF MY NUTS FAGGOT!!!"